Sex Ed, Sex Toys

Empowering Self-Love: Step-by-Step Guide on How to Finger Yourself

Fingers inserted in a fruit

It was a sunny afternoon, and I found myself in my room in front of my laptop screen that had been on for hours. As I stared at the next task on my to-do for the day, I asked myself — maybe I can catch a break? No, I don’t mean break open a Kitkat. I mean giving my body not just a break but also a well deserved reward for everything it does for me. And what’s a better reward than an orgasm?

Yes, I’m talking about masturbation, my favourite self care activity. A recent study found that compared to 76.7% of men, only  41.2% of women reported masturbating in the past year. The reason for this discrepancy has a lot to do with societal stigma around sex, especially for vulva owners. It breaks my heart to know that pleasure for vulva owners is not seen as a birthright, the way it is for penis owners.

I believe that pleasure is best when shared, so today I am going to give a step by step guide on masturbation. Yes you read that right, we’re about to embark on an adventure of self-discovery and explore the art of fingering.

Here at Manzuri, your friend and guide on sex education and pleasure, we believe that embracing your sexuality should be. So, if you’re ready to strap in and let your curiosity guide you, join me as we explore the step-by-step guide on how to finger yourself.

But before we dive in, let’s pop open the treasure chest of self-love and understand why this journey matters. It’s not just about toe-curling orgasms (although those are pretty amazing). It’s about embracing your desires, understanding your body, and celebrating the incredible force that is YOU. So, my fellow pleasure enthusiasts, let’s dim the lights, and embark on the journey where self-pleasure reigns supreme. Trust me, it’s going to be one hell of a ride!

The Power of Self-Love: Why Fingering Yourself Matters  

Before we delve into the exciting steps, let’s understand why self-pleasure is an essential part of embracing your sexuality and nurturing a healthy relationship with yourself. Fingering yourself allows you to:

1. Explore Your Sensations

According to a study, between 70-90% of women cannot orgasm through penetrative sex. External stimulation thus forms an integral part of sexual satisfaction in women. By taking the time to touch, tease, and discover erogenous zones, you can unlock a world of pleasure that is uniquely yours.

2. Relieve Stress and Boost Well-being

Studies state that self pleasure leads to the release of “happy hormones”. Thus, engaging in self-pleasure can help reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood, and promote a sense of well-being.

3. Enhance Body Awareness

Understanding your body’s responses, desires, and preferences through self-fingering empowers you to communicate more effectively with partners, leading to more fulfilling intimate experiences.

Preparing for the Journey: Creating a Safe and Relaxing Environment

Just like any adventure, preparing for self-fingering requires a comfortable and safe setting. Consider these essential steps:

1. Find Your Space

Choose a private and peaceful area where you can focus on yourself without any distractions or interruptions.

2. Set the Mood

Create a sensual ambiance by dimming the lights, lighting candles, playing soft music, or using essential oils to enhance relaxation.

3. Gather Your Supplies

Keep your favourite vibrators, lubricant, tissues, and a towel nearby for a smooth and mess-free experience.

Exploring the Landscape: Understanding Your Body  

Clue App

To understand how to masturbate with fingers and navigate your own pleasure, it is vital to understand the landscape of your body. Familiarise yourself with these key areas:

1. Clitoris

The clitoris is a highly sensitive organ located at the top of the vulva, containing thousands of nerve endings. It’s often considered the powerhouse of pleasure because 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm!

2. Vaginal Opening

Ah, the magnificent gateway to pleasure—the vaginal opening! It’s not just a magical place where penetration happens during intercourse; it’s also a delightfully sensitive area that can send waves of pleasure through your entire body.

3. Inner and Outer Labia

Next on our pleasure map, we have the enchanting folds of skin known as the inner and outer labia. These beauties not only protect the entrance to the vagina but also possess an abundance of sensory nerve endings.

4. Anal Opening

Exploring anal stimulation can add an extra layer of pleasure for those who are curious. Just remember, always use plenty of lubricant, start slow, and listen to your body’s cues. Read the complete guide to anal stimulation here.

Getting Hands-On: Self Pleasure Guide for Women

Now that you’re familiar with your body, let’s embark on a step-by-step journey of self-exploration:

1. Begin with Relaxation

Take a few deep breaths and allow your body to unwind. Relaxation is key to fully enjoying the experience.

2. Warm-Up

Start by caressing your body and gradually move towards your erogenous zones. Tease your breasts, thighs, and inner thighs to build arousal.

3. Lubrication

Apply a generous amount of lubricant to your fingers and vulva. This helps reduce friction and enhances pleasure.

4. External Stimulation

Gently massage your clitoris in circular or up-and-down motions. Experiment with different pressures and speeds to find what feels best for you.

5. Internal Stimulation

Slowly insert one or two fingers into your vagina, exploring its depths. Experiment with different angles, motions, and pressures to discover what brings you pleasure. You can try a “come-hither” motion or gentle thrusting to stimulate your G-spot. Remember to listen to your body and adjust the pressure and speed according to your preferences.

6. Combination Play

As you become more comfortable, you can experiment with simultaneous clitoral and vaginal stimulation. Use one hand to caress your clitoris while the other hand explores your inner sensations.

7. Explore Different Techniques

Don’t be afraid to try different techniques, such as tapping, rubbing, or using a rhythmic motion. Everybody is unique, so what works for others may not work for you. Embrace the process of self-discovery and find what feels pleasurable and exciting.

8. Take Your Time

The key to truly enjoying self-fingering is to take your time and savour every sensation. Remember, there’s no rush, and this is your personal journey of self-exploration. Allow yourself to fully immerse in the experience and indulge in the pleasure that your body craves.

Aftercare and Self-Care: Nurturing Yourself Post-Fingering

After your pleasurable escapade, it’s important to prioritise self-care and aftercare to promote overall well-being:

1. Rest and Relax

Take a few moments to lie back, breathe deeply, and relish in the afterglow. Allow your body to recover and bask in the feelings of contentment and self-love.

2. Cleanliness

Maintain good hygiene by washing your hands and genital area with warm water and mild soap. Pat dry gently with a clean towel.

3. Emotional Check-In

Reflect on the experience and embrace the positive emotions that arise. Self-fingering is not only about physical pleasure but also about self-connection and self-acceptance. Embrace any emotions that may arise, and be kind to yourself throughout the process.

And there you have it! You’ve successfully unlocked the secrets to the art of fingering yourself. So go forth, explore, and embrace the joy that comes from understanding your body and celebrating your desires. 

At Manzuri, your partners in pleasure, we’re honoured to have joined you on this exhilarating adventure. We’re here to support you, provide you with knowledge, and celebrate your unique path to self-empowerment. We hope you enjoyed this self pleasure guide for women. Embrace the art of fingering yourself, let your imagination run wild, and unlock the boundless pleasure that awaits you. 

Now, go forth and discover the magic within you, celebrate your body, and always remember that the greatest pleasure you can experience is the one that comes from loving and accepting yourself. Stay curious, stay empowered, and may your path be filled with delightful discoveries. Manzuri is here to cheer you on every step of the way. Happy fingering!